The Diary Kinetic

Everyday Apathy: With My Dick In My Hand.

If you’ve never asked yourself if everything was fucking hopeless than you’re probably already dead and not reading this. The thing about life is that it gets pretty fucking bleak and when the lights go out everything seems darker than it is. And it’s easy to get lost in the dark, it’s easy to be afraid of the dark, it’s easy to know your own darkness so well that you fall in love with it as it is a part of you. Humanity is a fragile thing as it is volatile; feelings and cognition are potent factors in what make us who we are. And it is in our nature to survive, to endure, to go on, but with cognition and humanity comes a price, there doesn’t seem to be any other species on this Earth that wages war, which self-loathes, or self-destructs the way we as humanity do, every day.

There are places on this planet that know nothing of the “civilized” world. There are places where fighting for your life literally means fighting for your life. There are places like this even amid the “civilized” world. The so called third world has always existed even in our backyards. In Africa there are warlords and people shedding blood for diamonds or blood for blood. In the Middle East there is a religious civil war being waged or war being waged over something as crude as oil. In South America there is war being waged for drugs or for trade. If you look hard enough, if you look long enough, if you gaze out into the abyss that is human nature’s effect on this world you can find war anywhere, even in the mirror.

When we lose perspective it’s pretty easy to get lost, and we’re lost, we’re adrift, our way of life is reaching a point of not being able to sustain itself and the ends are no longer justifying the means. We’re raping and pillaging the Earth at such a rate that the proverbial “end” is nearing. Somewhere along the line our evolution came full circle and we started devolving or perhaps this was always going to come to pass. We’re chewing up rain forests and blasting deep holes into the Earth and spewing sludge into the waters and coughing carbon dioxide into the atmosphere and melting the polar ice caps and the environment is reflecting this with storms that are washing away lives, or heat that makes it hard to breathe, and we are having such an effect on this world that we are changing the laws of nature and causing irreparable damage to that which is meant to sustain us, we never inherited the Earth so much as we were supposed to be a part of it. And for what, for nothing more than ideologies or lack of ideals completely. To what end do we seek but our own end? We are committing suicide on a global scale and as each day passes we are taking more and more rope and tightening and tightening that figurative noose. Some say the end is near, I say the end was always here, the end was always in the mirror.

We as a society have always had the capacity for change. But the question is do we have the will to do it. And even if one nation marches for change, there are still countless other nations that will press on towards reaching for something that was never real. And here we are at a stalemate, with everyone out for themselves and motivated by greed, and that’s what it is, we as a species are destined to decay, destined to destroy, destined for destruction. When you stop and you ask yourself if the world as a whole can come together and end our own ending it’s easy to see only darkness, it’s easy to only see hope lying bleeding over the soil of the eroded Earth, it’s easy to look into the mirror and not see anything at all.

Ignorance is easy, change is not. That’s the simple truth. And the belief in change and hope is what drives us to endure. So maybe, just maybe, we can try to be better people and not this thing we’ve become. Maybe we can take some responsibility for our actions. Or maybe we as a whole can try not to be such perfect assholes shitting on the Earth. But, that’s just my opinion and it really doesn’t matter because we’re fucked anyway, so as this ship continues to be adrift and sinking fast I will do little more than join in and pollute this world with nothing more than my own bullshit as none of it matters and everybody dies anyway and we always have masturbation so the real change that matters will ever be at hand. Maybe all that religious mumbo jumbo had it wrong and we were never going to hell so much as we were supposed to create it and I’d say we’re doing a pretty solid job. All is lost and it’s going to be one big party when things get dark and gritty and we see just how human humanity really is when the chips are down and the big machine of progress grinds to a whimper. And remember, I’ll see you in hell, I’ll be the one running for my life with everyone else, only, I’ll be the one with my dick in my hand while I do so because I believe in change.

Fuck like hell.

Everyday Apathy: The Sickness of The System.

Capitalism does not work. Well let’s not state the obvious or paint in broad strokes, no, let’s just take the Jackson Pollock approach and ejaculate chaotic color onto the bitter blank canvas and see what’s what, consequences be damned.

Mob mentality is a motherfucker. If your mob isn’t on the same page, so to speak, then things can get out of hand in a hurry. Whether you’re sacking and pillaging your own neighborhood to show “the man” that you’re just a few points shy of being legally classified as mentally challenged, wilfuly and not the noble kind that actually serves a purpose in the world by being living examples of art, but the thug variety or the apathetic kind, the kind that riots simply to riot without any real aim or objective. Or you’re a part of some hateful cult that takes all its orders from a bitter cunt that hides behind scriptures that are twisted in the most blasphemous of ways and lack all sense of irony in an undertow of fallacy. The simple truth is that we are pack animals by nature. And in packs we find strength in numbers. And with our ever growing fears and disillusionment we turn on ourselves every so often as there is no clear vision or enemy but ourselves.

The structure of the ideology of capitalism is not without its flaws. But to blame the system is unbelievably short-sighted as Industry, while being completely fucking soulless and evil, has brought us advances in the field of science and medicine and other such wonders and blunders. Capitalism ideally works as a form of democracy in which the people control what we deem to be useful or necessary by voting with our hard earned dollar. The flaw with capitalism is in the people. Even if we were to wake one day in a socialist world, in time, there would be just as many faults in that system as well. As I never get tired of pointing out, whether it’s true or not, is that human beings are inherently selfish creatures due to our survival instinct and we’re not nearly as “evolved” as we think we are, if anything you can make the argument that we are in a state of inert adaptation. And it was the people that corrupted system with greed and the hunger for that which was only ever an idea, wealth, and the general populace suffers for it. The system is so perverse that it feeds most effectively off of the lower class. You can drive down any street and get a high interest loan and just take more rope to hang yourself with as the cost of living continues to climb and as each day goes by you start to realize more and more that the dollars in your pockets are just stones that you keep taking as you sink further and further into debt. Capitalism is just a binary bible with ones and zeros that never really amounted to anything and it is all just deadly data that’s eroding our ability to sustain ourselves and this world. And you can’t save people from themselves; we can’t save one another from ourselves. We, the people, have created a machine so large and so destructive that it’s all we can see, now, we’re all addicts and pieces of this machine that continues to chew up the Earth and spit it out in crude oil and the like. Capitalism was always the people and that’s that until we say otherwise and we never will until it’s too late.

But nothing is ever all doom and gloom. Capitalism can work if we find the will to change. But any change comes at a cost and the cost is very simple, it’s to live more simplistically. The world is all about balance and the way we are to restore balance is to give back a bit of the Promethean fire that we accepted at the advent of technology and progress. Or if not that then we can use the tools that are already at hand and use them for a constructive end and not one of mere complacency or apathy every day. We, as a whole, have always had the capacity for change; it’s just whether or not we act upon it that will decide our collective fate before it’s too late.

Fuck the system, fuck the people.

Everyday Apathy: How to be a Whore.

People only perpetuate hate to get attention. It’s true, it’s so very true, when you look at assholes and terrorists and assholes that hide behind religions that are actually self-serving cults, the home variety and the away variety, and it’s all about whoring for an empty cause. It’s shallow really; it’s very, very shallow. And it’s all about the media coverage and nothing else. And the media is always so readily waiting to show us some atrocity until the numbers slip a little then whatever was being covered to death is brushed aside for something else, something fresh, something a little more sensational, it’s funny to think that these two parties have such a symbiotic relationship. From Columbine to Casey Anthony to the execution of Troy Davis, it’s all just one big show for the people before it’s on to something else and all the feigned sympathy just falls away as we continue to descend into our fucking apathy every day.

Let’s start with the cults, the cults in the Middle East and the cults in Middle America, it’s all about the numbers and it was never about the message. It’s all about how scandalous they can be and how thoroughly they can whore for media coverage. And it’s funny, you think they’d stumble upon the irony of championing messages taken from books that’s very message also speak of peace and of acceptance but such is life. That is why I’ve always firmly believed that they were never so much the words of god as they were the words of men, are they messages from something greater than ourselves? They might be, but, that’s for each individual decide, and I do believe in something greater than myself, I believe in existence and not a whole lot else. And yet, you can’t help but smile at the fact that these pitiful creatures are blasphemous, it’s true, they take that which should be held sacred and shape it into a weapon and pervert many of the beliefs that said books contain.

And now the media, the fucking media, and how it continues to deteriorate in quality before our very eyes. Sensationalist bullshit that only serves to sell ads and generate revenue, and as we all know, nothing puts asses in the seats like sex, blood and gore and if you can get all three at once, you’re golden. And it fades away. We move on, now we need to know about vapid celebrities and scandals and forget that there’s still a bit of oil in the ocean or that the waters of Japan are a little irradiated or that there are still good, hardworking people pulling up their sleeves rebuilding their lives from natural disasters, or economic treachery and it’s sad. These people and their stories are shoved out of the limelight for nothing more than fluff pieces or the next bit of propaganda spewed from newspersons that are, at least they were at one point, supposed to be objective and unbiased but such is life and we need numbers and to generate greed so fuck the truth we need more tragedy and sex and gore to keep the eyes on the screens. And the whole time it happens it has to be done in a manner that’s either completely nonsensical or damn near insane or it has to lack any teeth whatsoever as everyone barks but nobody bites. There isn’t any follow-through to any of it, it’s all just asinine rhetoric, all style and no substance, and I say we just do away with the niceties and have our media go for the throat and forget about the heart and just tear the news right into us as we bleed out in our living rooms in the horror, the horror. But, it won’t happen, yet.

And this is the state of the world and all the news you need to know. People are killing one another, the planet is dying and is ever nearing or past the point of being able to sustain our so called civilization, there’s a thirty percent chance of scattered showers, the apathy level is at an orange alert and nobody gives a fuck. And it’s all for not, none of it really matters until if affects your life and some dumb asshole with or without a camera shows up at your door after some other asshole shows up with a tasteless picket sign or a bomb of some kind or shoots up your house and then you’ll be on television for exactly fourteen point-nine nanoseconds and everyone will move on and we’ll all be much better for it because we’ll all be that much worse.

Fuck my own propaganda.

Everday Apathy: The Truth Is Out Where?

Space is not the final frontier, it’s just a big lot of nothing, and yet it’s everything. The human mind is something that will never understand the universe and it never should. Sure, we can fumble for answers but there will never be anything concrete or solid to answer all of our questions. You’ll never know if there is a god or if there is an afterlife, and yet you do, all we ever really needed to fucking know is that we exist. All we needed to know is that life is alive. But, on the other hand, it is in the search for knowledge and understanding where we can learn about ourselves as a species when we’re not ejaculating to further our frustration and spread the love and cover this planet of ours in love, hate, apathy and everything in between every day.

Balance, life is all about balance, now, I’m not the person to wax philosophic about balance as I’m an addict and I’m always going to be one mouthful of whiskey away from wearing an automobile as a hat, but, I’m just going to do it anyway, talk shit about space, I mean, not the latter, yet. And the design of the world as a whole is all about balance, there’s the fucking putrid sun and then there’s the light of the lovely moon, as there is light and there is darkness, and there is life and there is death. We are all composed of the same matter and we all return to said matter when we die a horrible death, or a pleasant death, or when we forget to have a spotter when we’re dabbling in auto-erotic asphyxiation. Anyhow, what I’m getting at is that life is about balance and even when you’re unbalanced, like me, you’re still in balance. Even when this rock of ours perishes and it simply returns to the matter which it too was shaped from in a big bang and starts again or ends for all time. It’s all about balance.

Now let’s have a look at the numbers. Wait, fuck numbers, let’s just pull arbitrary and completely fabricated statistics and factoids out my ass and just call it square. There are those that do not find it necessary to continue humankind’s exploration of the great beyond. And there is some point to it. What could we possibly find out in the universe that we cannot find here on our own soil so why bother spending money that we don’t have to find out what’s what? I mean that money would be better served funding a war or a financial charade or maybe even finding a way to deal with our impeding water shortage. But, then again it doesn’t really matter because it doesn’t affect our lives, as individuals, at this moment and therefor it is of no importance. Or, maybe there is something to space exploration and N.A.S.A and other such space agencies continuing to find a modicum of understanding of life as a whole by viewing the universe as best as we can while continuing to advance the technology to look even further still. And as a benefit there have been many advances in the technology that sustains, satiates and saves our lives that come from such things as space exploration, that combat global warming or finding new energy sources but I guess that hardly matters as we’re all little more than matter anyhow.

Is there life in this universe outside of this Earth? Yes, there is, I can tell you without even pulling out any suspect data of my rectum. I can tell you that it would be completely fucking idiotic to believe otherwise. And, I don’t think we even have the tools or the insight to even comprehend what constitutes life as we will ever be in the proverbial box as we can only see as far as what our surroundings and inherent environment and our own life on this planet has shaped for us to imagine. Our perception of what life means is influenced by our own lives and life on Earth. For all we know life could be something that doesn’t have a physical being or would require an aircraft to travel distances as we, as humankind, require. And to ponder such things is to have an open mind. I would be greatly saddened to truly believe that we, as a species and as a whole, are the most advanced, if you could call it that, life in existence. The next time you’re high out of your mind and gazing at the stars above, just think that somewhere out there some other form of life may also high as fuck and gazing right back you. In closing, everything in existence exists and that’s that.

Fuck to infinity and then fuck to beyond the beyond.

Everyday Apathy: So Fucking Taxing.

Class warfare, what the fuck does that mean? I don’t know if you’ve been under a fucking boulder for the past few millennia but class warfare has been in effect since the revolution of greed and false senses of power and control were introduced into our so called civilized world. The socioeconomic divide is so vast that those fortunate enough to breathe the rarefied air of champagne blowjobs have lost all sense of what it means to have to fight and beg and plead for a malt liquor blowjob behind the convenience store that’s prices are hardly convenient but such is life. One man made a speech and suddenly a proverbial shot rang out only it was hard to hear with all the literal shots ringing out from wars that can’t be won and guns flooding the streets and falling into the hands of those fucking dumb and apathetic enough to pull the triggers at fellow idiots and every so often occasionally letting the innocent bystanders get caught in the crossfire as we all scramble to chase after something that was never real, something that was only a vague outline of trade and a means of furthering our civilization across the nations. And it’s only fair that the people, the hard working souls, the blue and no collars get a little leeway on their leashes from the masters that cut jobs and fuck the slaves at every turn by cutting costs at the sake of the lower class to maximize profits. As we continue to divide we subtract from ourselves and add to our apathy, every day.

Nobody likes taxes. It’s true; taxes incite ire in the people. It’s hard to hand over a hard fought dollar to people that you don’t trust with it, and rightfully so. It’s hard to think that you’re funding a war you don’t believe in. It’s hard to think you’re helping pay for bonuses for the assholes that are taking your jobs away. Taxes should always first and for most benefit the society that pays the taxes. The taxes should be used to rebuild schools and pay the fucking teachers a little more, they should help out with the understaffed souls in the hospitals that are overworked and overrun, and they should help the people in the hospitals that are in deteriorating health due to living day to day life in a world that is audacious. And yet they don’t, not always, not as much as they should, but, taxing those that have more than the means to sustain their lives two or tenfold is only fair. After all, how do you think they accumulated all that wealth? I got to tell you, I don’t think that it’s possible to do such a thing without stepping over the backs of the people. So, I say we tax them, just to humble them a little, just bring them down a little closer so that they can see what’s like to have to live hand to mouth. So they can see what’s like to not know how you’re going to make it through tomorrow as the economy continues to decline.

For what’s it worth. I don’t have a lot of faith in politics or ideologies other than my own selfish ways. And yet, even I can admit that if there is going to be any tomorrow at all, we have to make sacrifices. And this extends to the haves just as it does to the have-nots. Yeah, the world can be a shitty place, but it can be a little better if every single person even made even the smallest attempt to better it. And it doesn’t have to mean paying taxes. It could be as simple as giving a hand job to the homeless. Or maybe just not killing your fellow sufferers on this Earth and being a fucking human being who treats other human beings with even a modicum of respect.  I might be a diluted addict, asshole, with no religion, but, I do believe in something, I do believe in the people. And I do believe we all have the capacity to change. I even believe in the corrupt industries that roll right over the downtrodden, I believe that the people that make up the cogs and wheels of the big machine of progress can all work together to lessen the wounds we inflict on the world as a whole and one another and maybe there just might be a tomorrow, for the people.

Fucking for change isn’t always a bad thing.

Everyday Apathy: Red, White and Blow Me.

Politics is a game. It always has been and always will be. Never will you be able to see the struggle with so called morality than you will within the actions of a politician. It always introduces and interesting paradigm within human nature. How does one go about appeasing the people? The truth is that there will never be an answer, as the people are ever changing and with each person being an individual the needs of many will ever vary.

Now, with that out of the way I am free to wax philosophic and metaphysically masturbate into a subject I neither care so little about nor care to be properly versed in. Let this day’s apathy begin.

Welcome to the world of politics where everyone is evil and all the choices made are wrong and every party is inept and it’s all really not so much a sacred institution for our betterment but rather a comedy of which keeps us laughing while we are forced out of our homes, or, die waiting rooms of hospitals that are understaffed and overworked ,or, catching planes with pilots that are exhausted and underpaid and prone to taking naps mid-flight ,or, sitting in schools that are ludicrously underfunded with teachers that have to be willing to sacrifice their own needs for the future that is ever deteriorating before our very eyes, or, taking more figurative rope in the form of a high interest loan from the wild and fanciful free financial market and continue to hang ourselves low in debilitating debt. And it’s all fine and dandy. We’ll just have to walk it off and grin in bear it. After all, it’s kind of hard to make any argument at all with the voter percentage turnout being lower than blow job from an unconscious clown with a big red nose from binge drinking rubbing alcohol under his big red nose.

It takes an arrogant motherfucker to be a politician; it doesn’t take a smart one, just an arrogant one. And it has to be that way. A person has to be arrogant to know what’s good for people, or in the very least, believe they know what’s good for people. The problem arises in the fact that in politics you have to play the game or you’ll be ousted. You have to make decisions that affect the people, for good and for bad. You have to be able to decide which plates keep spinning and which fall and shatter. And while those proverbial plates are spinning you have to watch your back, your front and even the ground at your feet for the trap door that can spring open at a moment’s notice. And all the while you have to be ever aware that you are in the public eye and being scrutinized and held to an inhuman standard by the people you have to fuck over. So, we always have to remember to pity the politicians while we fucking loathe them and love them, for not every politician is ruled by greed, some believe in change and it is those politicians we need to support, so few they may be, and support them by fucking voting for them. But, then again, perception is always going to be subjective and there’s never going to be a clear cut answer that your vote will solve, and therein lies the quandary, are you really choosing the lesser of two evils? Or, is your vote going to fuck over someone else. And yes, it is, that’s what politics is, it’s about survival and democracy, you cannot have your way without taking from others. But, it’s also an institution that serves to keep order in our society and such is life.

In closing, none of it matters even though it does. There is no cause without effect. The repercussions of our actions will always reverberate throughout the world as a whole. There are no voids and nobody is free from this rule of existence. But, there is always change. There is always change within the people as people are ever changing. So, while there will never be a happy ending, there can be a better tomorrow if we so choose it. A vote is a choice and if you do not vote you are still making a choice.

Fuck democracy by being democratic.

Everyday Apathy: Always Be Posing.

Our society is in the business of tragedy. And we should be, a good businessperson is always ever aware of the benefit of harnessing a sustainable market, and the market of misery is always booming. We sell ourselves shit that really doesn’t do anything other lessen ourselves. And we’re better off for it. We have to purchase the product with money that was never real and sink that much deeper into the apathy we’re awash and drowning in every single fucking day. The truth is we were always our own dealers of dreary thoughts and we were always very high and mighty on our own supply.

Marketability is essential to the shameless shilling of whatever the fuck it is you’re selling. Whether it’s good old fashioned smack that cracks like a bat or just a figurine to commemorate some atrocity that you can readily keep on your mantle that you can look at and marvel at how truly fucked up we really are.  Sure, you can justify it all, any addict can. You can justify the need to push down the plunger and set yourself free with black tar. Or, you can justify that tacky fucking thing you brought into your house. Sure, some of the profits benefit the families of the fallen, but, no business in their right mind would ever sell anything out of the kindness of their fucking hearts. And it’s everywhere, the industries which continue to lead us to ruin our now rebranding and marketing us salvation that’s actually just all about profit. Everyone is now aware and we’re only buying the same shit with different labels and it’s all just fine and dandy. It’s not like we ever even pretended to give a fuck about one another let alone the general populace or the Earth itself.

Prey on the weak. Don’t ever apologize for doing so. Pick them off. They’re dead weight. Just slip that blade of the nefarious intent and selfish intentions and just drag it across their throats and watch them bleed out in not knowing any better blood. Sell them whatever. Make them spend. Empty their wallets while you empty your humanity. Just make sure you rebrand after you do it and anticipate what your next move is going to be and ever be on the lookout for the next customer. And get them while they’re young, like cigarettes and religion, find a way to get to them in the cradle. Inundate them with imagery. Sell them a 9/11 mobile and then play a tape they bought which will lull them to sleep with the message of no tomorrow. Just sell to them and always be closing. Go for the throat by aiming for the wallet. Don’t worry about it all, the financial institutions that were once reputable institutions are now in cahoots with you and everybody has their knives out as we divide ourselves and have our cake and fucking choke on it, too. There will always be rope and there will always be those that take it.

And never stop selling, ever. Run them right out their fucking homes and then sell them a box with your insignia on the side of it and just keep right on selling shit to them. Sell them right into the fucking grave. And then keep right on selling to them. Sell them on the afterlife and how it’s all going to be sunshine and lollipops and it’s all going to be okay. Sell them their fucking souls if need be, sell them the fucking sun, sell them to will to live and keep right on buying, sell them the vision of a better tomorrow that will never be. Fuck, sell them shit that doesn’t exist. Sell them ideas and ideologies; sell them the thoughts in their heads. But, never sell them the will to change. Never sell them awareness. Never sell them themselves back to themselves. No, this detrimental to the business of not knowing. Sell them ignorance and wilful ignorance. Sell them self-destruction. Never sell them hope. Never sell them change. Never sell them tomorrow. Never sell them a world that will never exist but will always exist.

Fuck high and sell low.

Everyday Apathy: The Day That Nothing Changed.

One plane, one plane carrying passengers, explodes in a flash of hate into the side of a tower teeming with life. One plane, one plane carrying the lives of innocent people, explodes in a flash of fallacy into the side of a tower and everything and nothing at all changes. Welcome to the new world we have always lived in and always will. September 11, 2001, was a day to remember. It was a day when the eyes of the world and the collective consciousness of the hive of humanity shared the same thoughts. It echoed through the very being of every human being blessed and cursed with life on this earth. It was a day in a series of days, an event in a series of events, which reiterated that we are indeed the children of no tomorrow.

We are always going to hate and fear one another. We are always going to be at war with ourselves. We are always going to kill one another. We are always going to find reason in no reason at all. We are always going to take something beautiful and pervert it. We are always going to destroy this Earth as we destroy ourselves.

Belief; it is belief that kills, it is the belief in something and nothing at all that has rendered us into something that we always were. Whether it is belief in war and power that never existed or belief in nothing, it is belief that will be our undoing, our unmaking, and our final falling tower. The danger of belief is that it is dangerous to believe. Our beliefs can create divisions amongst us that lead to war with the beliefs of others. Our beliefs can lead us astray. Our beliefs can take the lives of innocent people in the belief that ever serves a purpose that never mattered. Our beliefs can kill. Our beliefs have been killing us for so long that we believe only in survival, only in greed, only in beliefs that are tearing us apart as a whole.

You cannot destroy an idea. You cannot declare war on something that was never tangible. You cannot murder an idea. You cannot stop an idea that only ever existed in the thoughts and the minds of many.

And nothing changed, and yet it did, the events of that day revealed to us the humanity of human nature. Brave and honorable souls sacrificed themselves for the lives of others. The people unified and the love healed the wound inflicted by the hate. And that love belonged to no one race, that love belonged to no one belief, that love was the purest form of love, it was the love of one another. And it is this love that we need to learn to not only see amid the tragedy of life. This love needs to linger within us if we are to survive ourselves. We need this love, now, and always, this love will keep us safe and set us free.

September 11, 2001 is a day to remember. It is a day to remember that we love one another. It is a day to forget the hatred birthed by intolerance. Whether that intolerance is that of the fools that fight for peace with war, or the fools that use the lessons learned on that day only to further pervert the honoring of those who have fallen by not loving one another, we must not forget that hope, too, is an idea that will never fall. That hope will never leave us. That hope will find us even in the darkest of days and shine with such light that it will illuminate the beauty of humanity. That hope was always within the people. That hope was always the people. That hope will never fall.

Fuck fallacy.